


Fear Not

by el_gilliath



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alex survives!, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hospital Shooting AU, M/M, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-23 04:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23005759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/el_gilliath/pseuds/el_gilliath
Summary: It’s not a secret. Nothing about them has ever been a secret. It just hasn’t been spoken about out loud. In the beginning fear kept them back, DADT and Jesse Manes hanging over them like a deep, dark abyss they could never cross. Eventually that abyss filled with sand, planing out into something that was rocky, but still doable.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 27
Kudos: 98





	Fear Not

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BeStillMySlashyHeart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeStillMySlashyHeart/gifts).



> Written for [this](https://monluna-dreamer.tumblr.com/post/189469740012/a-fic-where-michael-and-alex-are-together-as-in) prompy by @monluna-dreamer
> 
> It's also a gift for my lovely partner in angst Marlo. You encourage me, you help me, and you push me. I love you <3
> 
> And I swear, Alex is only dead for half an hour, tops!

It’s not a secret. Nothing about them has ever been a secret. It just hasn’t been spoken about out loud. In the beginning fear kept them back, DADT and Jesse Manes hanging over them like a deep, dark abyss they could never cross. Eventually that abyss filled with sand, planing out into something that was rocky, but still doable. 

It’s still rocky, even if they’re working on being better. On communicating, something that has never been easy for them. First because of fear, then because of distance. Now they’re just stuck in a pattern. But it does help that they’re together, in the same place. Makes things a whole lot easier than it has been for the last ten years. 

They both know they want to be together, ten years, fear, distance and dramatic declarations have told them that, even if they’re not that good at saying it out loud. Even if Alex’s defenses spikes at the sight of his father and Michael’s sarcasm turns things a bit sour. They’re cosmic. They can’t and won’t give up. They’ve come too far for it. 

The panic that overcomes Michael as he hears about the shooting in the hospital isn’t something he takes lightly. Firstly because he knows Isobel was there visiting Liz. Then he remembers that Alex was supposed to have PT. Everything in him stops, coming to a frightening halt as his brain processes the information. Because if Alex is at the hospital, PT or no he will be obligated to do something. He wouldn’t let himself not do something. Alex Manes might not have been born for protecting but it’s everything he is now, after ten years in the Air Force. Standing by while innocent bystanders are hurt is not his style. It takes all Michael has not to drive like a maniac over to the hospital. He’s relieved when he sees Isobel, Noah, Max, Liz and Kyle, even Maria is there. He still gets that sinking feeling in his gut when he can’t locate Alex. 

He gets out of the truck and sprints over to them, calling out Isobel’s name and crushing her into a hug when she sees him. He doesn’t miss the way Kyle eyes him warily, as he’s the only one that actually knows about them. Which probably means what he thinks it means. 

He can hear Isobel prattle on about her memories but he doesn’t pay her all that much attention as he turns to Kyle. 

“Is he in there?”

“Guerin-,“ Kyle starts. Probably trying to dissuade him from going in. Fat chance of that happening. 

“Kyle! Is he in there?!”

He knows they’re all watching him, as Kyle swallows hard, before he does one sharp nod. “He wouldn’t leave.”

“Then I’m going in.”

And before anyone can stop him, Michael runs into the hospital. He has to get to him, has to get to Alex. Of all the days he had to be in PT, this had to be it. He moves slowly, ducking out of sight as police and firefighters move around or towards him. No one is stopping him until he finds Alex. 

He weaves in and out of hallways he shouldn’t know as well as he does, until he’s just around the corner from where Alex does PT. 

It steals the breath from his chest as he finds Alex leaning against the wall. His entire being is unable to move as he notices the blood seeping between Alex’s fingers where they’re pressing against his stomach. 

“Alex,” he whispers out, his mouth won’t make proper noise. It doesn’t matter, as Alex turns towards him. His service piece is in his hand, and he holds it steadily on Michael, his face a mask of calm control. The control cracks as he notices who he’s pointing a gun against. 

“Michael,” Alex groans out as he drops the hand holding the gun. “What the fuck are you doing here? There’s an active shooting going on you idiot.”

Michael ignores him as he runs over and presses his hands over Alex’s on his stomach. “What am I doing, you’re bleeding, Alex!”

“I’m aware of that.” Alex answers calm as a cucumber. Sometimes Michael absolutely hates his military training. “The shooter caught me off guard as I was coming into the hall. My physical therapist is already dead.”

“We need to get you out of here.” Michael is turning frantic now. The blood is leaving Alex too quickly. 

“No time, you need to text Kyle where we are, he’ll come in when it’s safe. Hopefully it won’t be too late.”

Michael’s heart screams at the calm words leaving Alex’s mouth. “You’re not dying.”

Alex looks at him, a pained smile on his face. “I might not have a choice, Guerin.”

“The fuck you don’t, you are not dying on my watch, Manes!”

Alex gives him a sharp look at the Manes, but doesn’t say anything. He’s stubborn, but so is Michael. Arguing gets them nowhere. 

“Text Kyle, Michael,” Alex replies instead. He’s swallowing hard, his breath turning shallower. His skin is turning pasty, Michael isn’t afraid to admit he’s really, really worried. 

“Just hold on, Alex,” he whispers. Alex shoots him a small smile, but even that doesn’t really help. Alex is dying, and they both know it. 

He gets his shitty phone out and texts Kyle, a simple Hallway H, Alex dying and shoves the thing back into his pocket. He ignores it when it buzzes a minute later in favor of putting his hand back over the bulletwound, grimacing when Alex groans in pain. His eyes are closing on their own, now, his breath shallower than ever. 

“Michael,” Alex forces out. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re going to be fine, Alex.”

A shadow of a smile appears on Alex’s lips. “Lies.”

“I don’t lie Private, you-“

“I love you.”

The softly spoken words take the wind completely out of the rant Michael was gearing up for. He knows Alex loves him, _of course_ he knows. He just wishes they were said at a different time and space. Not when Alex is dying. 

“I love you too,” he still replies. The smile on Alex’s face makes it worth it. 

The next few minutes passes. His phone vibrates every now and then in his pocket but he still ignores it, he favores watching Alex grow weaker. He won’t take his eyes off of him, he won’t leave him alone. He never does look away. 

———

Jenna and Kyle round the corner 10minutes later. Both of them know the second they see them that they’re too late. Kyle calls time of death in a broken voice, as Jenna salutes Alex. Michael’s hand has migrated underneath Alex’s sweater. None of them notice his palm glowing red. 

———

He follows Jenna and Kyle out of the hospital in a daze, his mind blank, the chaos silent in the face of overwhelming loss. He knows it won’t last long as his eyes follow the stretcher where Alex’s body is. Alex’s body. It still doesn’t make sense. 

Nothing makes sense. 

“Michael?”

He hears Isobel’s voice like a distant echo, like he’s trapped under water unable to breathe. He sees her in his peripheral vision coming closer to him, her hand stretching towards him. He still flinches when she touches him. 

“Oh, Michael,” she says, her hand leaving him after the flinch. “I take it you knew Alex better than any of us think?”

“Museum guy,” he hears Maria murmur, and someone inhales sharply beside her. Probably Liz. “You’re the guy Alex has been feeling hopeful about, the one he’s been seeing on and off for ten years.”

Their voices and questions starts from behind him, Isobel, Noah, Maria, Liz. Strangely not Max. But he can’t differentiate or focus on them. Because the stretcher Alex is one has stopped, and they’re about to take him into an ambulance. To drive him to the morgue. 

He falls to his knees. He can’t fathom staying standing any longer. The love of his life is dead. 

He’s aware of the tears starting to fall as he looks down, he doesn’t want to see them loading Alex into the ambulance. He’s vaguely aware of Max sitting down next to him, his hand on his shoulder. Max doesn’t say anything, just sits with him as tears stream down his face. Michael appreciates it more than he can say. 

“Dr. Valenti! I thought you said this guy was dead!”

Michael’s head snap up quicker than he thought possible. Max’s hand on his shoulder tightens slightly, while Kyle makes a noise in derision. 

“Of course I did, he is! I called time of death myself!”

“Well then his heart restarted somehow, cause he has a pulse.” The EMT says and wisely moves away as Kyle rushes over. 

“Holy shit,” Kyle says and Michael scrambles to his feet. Alex was _dead_ he saw and felt him die. His panic rises. 

“Handprint,” he whispers. Max stiffens next to him.

“Kyle, you should check his wound.”

Kyle looks at Max, his eyes widening as his gaze quickly jumps to Michael. Michael can only shrug, it’s not a power he’s supposed to have but Alex was dead. _Something_ happened. 

“Let’s get him into an exam room, now!” 

And Michael can only watch as Alex is hastily taken away, Kyle leaving them with a nod as if to say he’ll take care of it. He’s never been more petrified in his life. 

“You healed him?” Isobel hisses from behind him. He hears Maria inquire about what she means by heal but he can’t worry about her (and Noah, fuck) finding out their secret right now. 

Especially since an entire hospital might figure out shortly. 

“I don’t know,” he replies. “But he was dead and now he’s not. So I did something.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Max says with a squeeze to his shoulder. “Let’s just see if Alex survives first.”

“You… you don’t think he’ll survive?”

“I don’t know, Michael. I hope he does.”

He breaks down once more, painful sobs shaking his frame. He’s quickly surrounded by Isobel and Max, both of them hugging him close as he cries bitter tears into the fast approaching night. 

———

It’s touch and go for a long time. Alex’s heart threatens to stop a couple times in surgery as they remove the bullet, and Kyle has to be exceedingly careful in case a handprint starts to appear on his skin. But thankfully it doesn’t, and thankfully Alex pulls through. Michael cries, again, when he hears the news. He can’t help but be grateful. 

He’s less grateful a few days later when he feels pain. A lot of pain that he knows doesn’t belong to him. It starts small before it blossoms over the next couple of hours. And as he gets a frantic text from Kyle telling him to come to the hospital, NOW, he knows without a doubt that a handprint has appeared on Alex’s skin. 

He races over from work, after throwing out an excuse for Sanders who just grumbles and waves him off. Kyle meets him at the entrance, face scrunched up in a frown but he doesn’t say anything as he turns and walks to Alex’s room after Michael comes over. He just follows, knowing that Kyle won’t say anything until they’re behind closed doors. 

He doesn’t like to see Alex lying in a hospital bed. But seeing him awake negated that.

“Alex! You’re awake!”

Alex turns to look at him. He’s obviously tired and in pain, but he still smiles, beautifully. Michael’s heart soares at the sight.

“Hey, Guerin,” he says. He even sounds tired and Michael can’t help but lean over and kiss him. He’s alive.

“Okay, careful with the kissing. Don’t jostle him too much, he did just have surgery.”

“Spoilsport,” Alex replies as Michael jumps away, sending Kyle a tired glare.

“Maybe, but I’m not keen on you dying again. Even if Guerin can apparently bring you back from the dead.”

Alex cough-snorts. “Don’t make me laugh, Kyle. It hurts to laugh.”

“Sorry,” Kyle answers. “But now that you’re awake and with a very sparkly handprint on your stomach, I think we need to get you out of here.”

“Is that safe?” Michael asks.

“It’s fine, I’ll stop by everyday and make sure everything is healing the way it should. But if yould be better if someone stayed-”

“Of course I’m gonna stay with him,” Michael interjects. “I’m not going anywhere.”

The rush of love and affection feels strange in the pit of his stomach. But glorious at the same time. He smiles at Alex, taking his hand as he tries to project his own love right back. It’s weird, but knowing his handprint is on Alex’s skin makes him want to see it. It makes him proud that Alex is alive because of him. He never wants to lose him again.

“Did anyone see it?”

“No, only me so you don’t have to worry about that. I’ll give you a minute while I go get the discharge papers.”

“Hey Kyle?” Kyle stops in the doorway and turns a questioning look at Michael. “Thanks.”

“No, thank you. You saved him, not me,” he says with a sharp nod as he leaves. Michael nods back, even if Kyle doesn’t see him and turns back to Alex, who’s watching him with a smile

“You ready to take me home?” he asks, squeezing his hand softly.

“Always, Alex.” He can’t help but lean over and steal another kiss, regardless of Kyle’s warning. “Always.”


End file.
